Dear John

I watched Dear John on one of my trips to see my mom. The movie is nice (the lovey-dovey kind) but has a sad/unexpected ending. I always feel that stories with sad endings attract me the most and I’ll be haunted by them for years (like Wuthering Heights- it is so dark). So, here is the synopsis:

Actually, I feel like doing my own version of Dear John. (I feel like changing the name of the girl too. Sierra is the name- ala ala pnyanyi la konon). And it happens in Paraguay where they speak…………………….hmm…………………whatever language Paraguayan speak. English is used here to translate their language.

“Hi, can I talk to Sierra?”

“Who’s this?”

“This is JOHN”

“Yeah right you’re JOHN. I’m a man”

“Then I’m gay”

See here, Sierra cannot believe herself that John called her. Sierra is aware that John has his own line of girls that go crazy over him.

“He always sleeps alone in his room. His roommate always sleeps somewhere else”

“Then I should go and teman him sleep. I know his room”

These are some girls’ talk that shows how they have a huge crush on him. Hee..

Sierra sees John and feels that he has some charm that's impossible to ignore. He is handsome.  And (memendekkan crita), they fall in love. John chooses her over the other girls. John is a nice guy; too nice maybe, to his friends and especially to Sierra. They have their time together and Sierra loves him more than anything else. John treats her nicely and Sierra feels that he; besides her family, can really understand who she really is.

“I just want you to know that I really love you”

And being a jerk she is, Sierra shows who she really is. A short-tempered, spoiled girl who knows nothing about taking care of one’s feeling. But they survived through Sierra’s crazy storm of fury and that makes her love John even more. John never knew this and maybe his friends too. They are observers, they are outsiders who easily judge but never care to help.

“If something happens to us, you know, if one day fate found us to be not meant for each other, and then there are  people hurting me, saying mean things to me, would you come and save me, protect me from them?”

“I will always be there for you no matter what”

They survived long enough that John really knows Sierra and Sierra is at a time where she is really tired of being angry.

“Me and my friend discussed about you last night”

“What about me? "

“About my kinda girl”

“What’s your kinda girl?”

“Just like you”

The day is their anniversary. Sierra remembers it too well. She loves him but being a guy that he is, John forgets. Just as he forgets her birthday that year (birthdays are important to girls. Take note). Sierra doesn’t explain it to John but she makes sure that John feels guilty enough by doing the silent treatment. She is just so tired of being angry. She tells John that she wants to have dinner with her best friend and off they go. 

John calls Sierra many times but she doesn’t realize them and he decides to visit her at the restaurant Sierra and her friend are having their dinner. Feeling guilty because he forgets the event of the day, he yelled Sierra in front of everybody. This is the second time Sierra is being yelled. Being a great boyfriend all this while (with all the coaxing, all the sweet words, all the promises), ‘yelling John’ is not something to expect. 

And Sierra does what she always did. Staying silent until John comes and sweet-talk her back. That is always the way it goes. But this time, John doesn’t come back to her. He stays silent too and Sierra began to feel that the relationship is over.

“What if there’s this guy. He wants you and he is perfect. He is rich. He’s handsome. He’s tall. He is everything that a girl could dream of”

That is the time John met another girl. She is so unlike Sierra. John and Darla become friends. Sierra doesn’t know this and she feels guilty that she tries to make amends to John. John treats her nicely but things were different. John never bothers to call her in the morning like he used to or call her back using the public phone if both their cell phones are out of money. 

They meet one day (after he cancels the supposed date and she begs him like hell. Turns out Darla asks him out and he quickly accepts and cancels his date with Sierra) and little did she know that it will be the last time she is going to speak to him. 

He makes his decision that he wants to be with the other girl (my mind is saying to use other nouns but I decided against it) and he left her alone in the rain (really, the real rain. Not her tears).He left her walking alone in the rain that day and that is so unlike him and his words. She cried herself to sleep for years onwards.

<Bila Cinta song versi Paraguay playing in the background>

So here is the (maybe) last letter she manages to write.

Dear John,

I am out of words (as I have been blogging). All I want to say is I am happy for you as you have found your true love. Please take care of her. A girl’s heart is too fragile. They may pretend that they are happy and brave but they long for protection and they need constant reassurance. Yeah, this is just me talking. I know she is the complete opposite of me. She can run hundreds of kilometers whereas I am easily tired walking to the other end of corridor to the toilet when there is no water in the toilet nearby.

I am happy now. Too happy maybe that sometimes I feel insecure (this is the usual psychotic me). I just want to let it all out.

I know I was not a good girlfriend to you. Heck, I don’t think I am now. I am not a good person even. I am not the perfect daughter, the perfect sister or the perfect friend. I am just trying my best to appear perfect though I know I’m wrecked inside. I hope that this letter reaches you because this is my way of apologizing. I love writing and I think I express myself best through my writing. 

Some things are just not meant to be. There’ll be no more of us taking breakfast at a spaghetti restaurant (I just made up that Paraguay is famous for its spaghetti) and you would eat scrambled eggs – my childhood time’s favourite. There’ll be no more of us taking bus together to the mall and we would smell like the public when we got off the bus. There’ll be no more of me laughing at your silliness. There’ll be no more of you to be scolded by me to make me feel better. There’ll be no more of you being there for me when I am at my lowest. And there’ll be no more of YOU and ME.

Take care John.

With regards,

Sierra