Updates

1. Went through Zul's convo pictures and there were pictures of places in Penang. I miss Penang like so damn much. I miss going to Padang Kota Lama late at night. I miss freakin everything.

2. I sense that a girl friend of mine is very sad. Dear, be strong. If my assumption is correct, I think you deserve much better than him. Trust me. And yes, you're right, leave it all to Allah and He knows what's best for you.

3. Watched a video of one 18 year-old who just legally converted to Islam. Praise to Allah for giving her a chance to see the light. Seriously, I'm scared like shit. I am born a Muslim but I cannot guarantee that I'm much better than a non-Muslim. Subhanallah. I don't want to be one of those that are born Muslim but do not practices Islamic rules. Sumpah aku takut. Takut alpa. Dunia. Bisikan syaitan. Takut dipalingkan dari kebenaran. Hidup yang tak menentu. Hati aku pernah tak tenang. Sekarang pun bukan sepanjang masa tenang. Syaitan seronok. Takut!!

4. I was so used to being criticized by my sisters when growing up. Then, I went to IPG and the people there; they seem to be born teachers. They are so nice that my jokes seem to be harsh to them. I began to learn 'their language'. Now, going back to where I'm from, certain jokes and harsh words can bring tears to my eyes. Pathetic me. I should be stronger. Adjusting back; today my mum's friend talked to me in a very very very soft and well-mannered tone. She left me speechless. Haha. As a conclusion, I am torn in between now. I cannot accept people who are too harsh and I cannot be with too soft a person. I wish I can be the old me. The free-spirited, the true, the original me.