Excuse My Rambling

I used to love studying. I don’t have such drive now. I love Language Description, Language Development and Social Studies. I’d be paying my full attention to Mdm Chiang, Mr. Hussein and Mdm Ong and I’d be all excited to do exercises for LD. Now, every subject is a blur. The words coming out from Cik Siti, Dr. Raini, Mr. Bala, Mdm Ong, and Miss Yeoh are series of unregistered sounds. I’d be looking at them but nothing really happens in my brain. Maybe this is a sign of quitting. 

I can say that I don’t really care but deep down I do care. The reason I don’t quit this six damn years of (non-stop) studying is because of my mum. I study because of her. I love to see her expression when I told her my results. She’d be kissing me and they’re warm on my cheeks. She said comforting words and I know it is worth every seconds of studying agony. However, no matter how hard I try nowadays, I seem to be quitting, flying out into space and just drifting into nothingness.

So, during one of the classes I planned out (not thoroughly) the things I want for my wedding if ever I get married. 

I have always wanted “Stay Together for The Kids” song by Blink 182, no particular reasons for the choosing of the song but I fell in love with it when I listen to it when I was young. I don’t want any “Selamat Pengantin Baru” song. They remind me of the hassle and the warm weather in weddings.

I want to have a black and white theme wedding. No colours. Not silver. Just plain black and white. That would be cool. 

I want a 3D Travis Barker playing drum-cake. I’ve always said to my friends that I want a Britney Spears cake for my birthday. Just a cake with a picture of Britney Spears would be freakin cool enough. For my wedding, I want a 3D cake of Travis Barker playing his drum. It would feel real and I’d be the happiest person in the world. Hehe..

I was thinking of wearing a black wedding dress but I change my decision. It would be so cool if I wear a tux. Man, that would be a dream come true.

I think that is all for now. I don’t really care what my groom would be wearing. He’d be all sexy wearing anything and he’d be mine. :D

p.s: When I was young, going to this one wedding, the bride (a Malay) changes clothes to a saree. My sister quietly whisper to me:

“Kalau adik pkai bju tu msti nampak lagi real”

Urghh..

Okay, on the day of Valentine's day next year, me and the other unfortunate 76 friends of mine will be going to our respective school to do our practicum.

So, as I've been living with five other girlfriends they adviced me to carry (girl) handbag and wear (girl) shoes to school. Yeah, I know I'm goin to be a future teacher but really, must we be stuck to the old notion that teachers must wear baju kurung and even the tudung must be worn very nicely (it's like there's a standardized way of wearing tudung that a teacher must follow). I mean like we have been so formal in our way of wearing clothes but there are still students being mat rempits and the problems seem to be endless that I don't feel like listing.

'Cikgu kencing berdiri, anak murid kencing berlari'.

Yeah, try me!

Ishh, I feel weak just thinking about how my friends are going to drag me to Prangin or Queensbay to buy a (girl) handbag. And Syirah... Oh please, must I wear lipstick? I'm not Angelina Jolie. I'm Sharifah Bazilah and I am just content with the way I look and how I dress myself.

Can I wear these:

Oh, you know what I mean k. I really love, in love and in lust with these shoes man..

And them too (not too much coz I don't find the ones that I truly like)

Not really the ones that I would look and fall in love at the very first sight but they're kinda okay. I know my type when I see one.

Okay as crazy that I am, I will not be wearing any of the bags below to school. Don't worry Malaysia.

My Wants.. heee

During the foundation years (like trillion years ago), Diana; said that Mdm Mariah asked the then TESL 3 class, what they really want to do if Islam doesn't pose restrictions on things. The answers from the class are funny and some makes me cringe. But i don't think I'll be mentioning because they would just remember what they want.

I wish I was in the class and be able to answer that question.

For me, I would really want to do many things. I'm not the type that goes 'euww' to saying crazy things (not that I'm against that type of people). 

1. I want to be bald - My mom won't let me and I tried asking my dad but for the first time he agreed with my mom on this one (my dad is kinda don't-care-type of person). What a shocker. So there it goes, i can never be bald. *sigh*

2. I want to take drugs. Coz I think it is cool - enough said

3. I want to colour my hair green and black (jet black)

4. I want to kill people

5. I want to end my life before 19 (not achieved)

6. Pierce my mouth and belly button and eyebrow

7. Of coz make tattoos of my mom's name and things that portray the real me

Yes, I may look disturbing and people might take me as crazy and began to hate me and some may hate me even more. But hey, I'm honest. Let's just don't pretend about who we really are. That is more sickening

And yes, I don't have anything to do (explaining why I'm writing this) despite the exam coming close and haunting my life right now.

A trip to Tesco

I have nothing better to write. I write best when I am angry, sad, or heart-broken (yeah, I do get heart-broken). So, this piece is a piece of 'tahi' that is not worth reading.

I went to Tesco this morning with the hope that something interesting would come up to me (unfortunately, nothing happened). And I was in the state of buying every food that came into my mind. And trust me there were lots of food I was thinking of savouring. I was damn hungry and tired because my sleep last night took every ounce of energy I have saved for the last 22 years of my life (yes, i am exaggerating but I was really hungry, man). The day is Saturday and as a result, there were lots of people buying supply for their factory (again, exaggeration). I went for the fast lane to pay for the chemicals I'm going to damage my brain with but the fast lane was handled by some stupid people that made the fast lane..oh... so SLOW! And because I was so lack of sugar, I made faces and cursed them (not out loud. I'm too lemah lembut to be cursing people to their faces). The cashiers were laughing and drinking and sexing (again, exaggeration in the last verb). Patutla korg keje situ. I don't mean to be cruel but people; not me, have better things to do than seeing you guys laugh for something NOT funny at all and I; myself have to eat. And after buying the snacks, I went to the food court. All that I take is telur, ikan (sgt sedikit) n sayur (pun sgt sedikit). The rice given to me is also sedikit. I know that I ate a lot but even anorexic would agree that the rice is not enough for any human being. Oh, what I am trying to say is, all the 'sedikit's cause me RM 5.50. I ate them at 1.30 pm. The time now is 3 pm. I am very very hungry again and I think I am rotting to death. Sekian.

p.s: something sweet happened last night.