Thursday, August 16, 2012

Two Sides



Everything has two sides or so they said. But I don't have two sides, I have million sides.

I change when I am with different people. Sometimes I hate myself for not being able to be who I really am. The last time I am being myself is back when I was still in Perlis. People change. And that includes me. I change like a chameleon.

I listen to songs to run away from problems. To run away from reality. 

When I broke up with my first bf, I was listening to Britney's Blackout. That album speaks to me. She was having problems and I was too. She was running away from problems by singing songs that can get you up and dancing your socks off and that healed me.

Britney's songs are just about having fun hence me not facing the the reality of life. But I don't mind. I love dancing sometimes stupidly at that.

And lately, I can feel that I've grown. Things that I used to find important are not so important anymore. 

I am currently listening to T.A.T.U's songs. I think they're genius but sadly the group has no more existed. Their songs meanwhile are more me. The rebel true side of me. The dark side. The side of me that's just wanna be me. The twisted little me.

Habislah untuk ketika ini sebab terasyik tengok gambar britney plak..hilang dh fokus...

Tata =)

A Little Time Out

I love writing and it's killing me that I have many things to talk about at times but don't have time to write. 

This is a breather. I have many things goin on lately and I miss people so much and songs and places but at this moment, I don't have a clue on what to write. I'm just happy that I can write.

Hmm.. What should I write? 

Oh yeah, this morning I was thinking of my Pykett boys. The thought came suddenly. I just don't know how to explain. This feeling. 

Am I weird? Sometimes, I love people and things too much. Do I have obsessive compulsive disorder or bipolar disorder or manic depressive? 

Once I thought that I've overcame this love towards Pykett but this morning it came again. The love towards the boys. I was having difficult times at ipg then and the boys brought back my happiness. I was VERY HAPPY

I thought of Sharizan and the other boys. They must be little adults now. They must have grown. Do they still remember me?

I'm sad.